Happy Acts 365 Days

 

SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 2015

Happy Acts 365 days

I pushed myself today, but I've never felt more gratified. 365 days ago, when I learned about the International Day of Happiness--I was incredibly touched in a spiritually humble way. I made a choice that day; I was going to do 365 days of Happy Acts and see if it would change my life in any way at all. I began by writing everything I did in a private calendar. Then I got a planner and made it an intentional goal for my personal growth. I had to be intentional with my thoughts but not with my act of kindness. I let those come naturally but looked for ways to help another person.

After 6 weeks of doing it daily, I was put into the hospital for 3 weeks. Still, I could follow through with those acts; they were on my mind constantly. I became obsessed with overcoming obstacles and achieving this goal. After 2 Weeks at Mayo Clinic, I devised ways to help nurses or doctors- sometimes just by thanking them for using their name and sincerely getting to know them. Smiles, special notes, and gratitude were my best friends. I handed out Live Happy Magazines to everyone I could. Then I went to Cleveland Clinic for 7 weeks. This time I went prepared, not knowing what the circumstances would be--, I could still give thanks and share Happiness. In the past year, I was blessed with 8 surgeries to help save my life. What better way to say thank you? These people loved, cared, and helped me through some tough times...Diana Lents, I will forever be grateful that Angel and John gave me #HappyActs. Evgenya and Alex Kreymerman visiting me and showing #HappyActs was a huge surprise but so much needed when I had no family with me.

March 20, 2014--- From this day forward, I will give at least one act of kindness daily, and I promise to do this for 365 days.

Today March 20, 2015---✔ I did it...
I can't even explain the overwhelming feeling of such an achievement and what it did to change me from the inside out. I am a different person now than I was a year ago. I'm not talking about facial paralysis; I made this goal before that happened. My motivation behind this goal was to see how many people I could touch. The Lord had a different reason in mind when he led me down this path. He wanted me to see how achieving this goal would change and help me.

THESE  people give unselfishly every day as they
work at Mayo Hospital--5 and a half years with them
I'm grateful BOSA DONUTS FOR EVERYONE

You know, if you read my blog, I like to visit the chemo lab
and always take Holiday Treats for them to enjoy during
March and April before Easter...lots of tears today

Today as I drove the long freeway to Mayo Clinic, I pulled over to the side of the road, cried some tears of joy, and said a prayer of thanks for helping me achieve this incredible goal. I actually start plans and give up, but not this time. It was certainly not for glory or to boast in any way. I wish I could post every act of kindness I did; however, for a couple reasons, I will not:
1. HIPAA laws and the privacy of some acts that are too sacred to share.
2. Heavenly Father and I may be the only ones who will ever know the change these people made in my life.

Ultimately, trying to change one life at a time will help others to feel what I've felt this year. These people have made an indent in my heart that will never be removed. Most of these people will never know the difference they've made in my life--some of them are my hero's as I watched them struggle with different trials. I was placed in some places at the right time for a reason--I am so eternally grateful for those times-- This year, I found out how strong I am, who I am, what I can achieve, and most importantly, that because I intentionally found these people, I was then able to find myself,  I like what I saw--for the 1st time in my life nothing can hold me back from being BRAVE--I've let it define me. Today I realized while I was having that tender moment on the side of the road, I'm OK with myself. I'm no longer afraid to open the door to a me I've never seen before, and I know on those days when the walls seem too high to climb, Heaven is on my side. I'm ready to let nothing hold me back from what I feel inside of me-- I will be forever grateful to Jeff Olson for going before the United Nations and officially making March 20 the International Day of Happiness. I had the opportunity to meet Kym Yancey,  CEO of Live Happy Magazine. He is a wonderful man with a love for his family and spreading Happiness--I will never forget my interview with him. Good people attract good people--don't we all want good people in our lives?
Happiness is part of who I am now; I look forward to inviting more blessings into my life and giving others--365 days of Happiness.

I bought a couple extra Happy Tees to give out to random
people.

Two of my grandsons bought them Oreos and Kool-Aid
something their mom doesn't believe them. good thing for
grandmas to bring a treat every once in a while
instead of apples and bananas #HappyActs

One of the Happiness Walls from today--love when parents
participate and encourage their children. What a great
Dad--no hesitation at all.

I decided to go to a gas station in an area
where I knew people struggled financially. I sat and waited
I felt it with my heart; she was the one....sure enough,
zero gas and only $10 to her name. I filled her tank...
she was so happy, and the gas attendants didn't
understand...LOL 

How cute are these sisters? They will fill the
buckets of others who need it with their love.

Another mom showing her children the value of
Happiness and sharing in their lives

These are elementary school kids; no one helped them
come up with these ways to share Happiness.
Another tearful moment

Some of the cute notes from one of the boards the
children wrote on

I love these happy people for coming graciously into
my life a year ago. I love them

For the anniversary of this day, I intentionally made plans. The two walls of Happiness were more fulfilling than I thought. With the help of Carrie and Lindsay, we set up 2 walls at elementary schools. What a complete gratification to see every student want to participate, to watch parents get out of their car instead of dropping their children off and walking them to our wall. I was so impressed by these sweet children and parents--if our next generation could share love every day in some small way, we would be raising a new age of grateful children.

ONE DIFFICULT YEAR--TODAY MADE IT ALL WORTH IT...This was such a rewarding,  fantastic day. Thank you, Danny Jones, Elizabeth Decker, and Shelli Richardson, for never giving up on me.

Enduring ongoing adversity

SUNDAY, MARCH 15, 2015

Enduring ongoing adversity  

There are so many differences in all our lives. Depending on the circumstances, new mothers sometimes feel overwhelmed, fathers feel pressured to care for families, and some struggle with loneliness. We all have at least one challenge in common. Dealing with some type of adversity. I’ve also realized the reality of those adversities cannot be compared. For example, I struggled as a teenager with severe issues for years. It was heartbreaking to live through, especially knowing that life would be much easier if I were obedient. One day I went to visit a friend who was devastated and beside herself in tears. When I inquired what was wrong, I was shocked at her answer. She mentioned her daughter’s name, and then, through her tears, she explained, “She broke a family rule and got her ears pierced; she’s only 15; we agreed no ears pierced until the age of 18” Her perspective, and her trial was nothing like what we were dealing with, however in her family it was obviously just as heartbreaking.     

There have been periods, sometimes long times, when my life seemed to flow with little difficulty. Unfortunately, the nature of our lives gives way to distress; for me, periods of good health have ended, and misfortunes have arrived. It is more difficult when the comfortable times have gone on for a while. Suffering from health issues or losing material security can bring fear and sometimes even anger. I must be transparent here and admit I have felt rage and questioned why? I realize the anger comes from a feeling that what is happening is unfair. It came as such a shock. To be blessed with good health all my life, the serene sense of being secure had become deserved and natural, like an arrogant ignorance. Hadn’t I proven my worthiness and loyalty to the Lord? For this health issue to continue for over 5 years, a feeling of injustice has sometimes come to my mind. I have considered myself a brave woman, yet many times have cried aloud, “I have always tried to be good. How could this happen?”

The opportunity to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the blessings of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

There is an aching sometimes for an answer to “How could this happen?” It becomes even more painful when I see others struggling, including those I love. When Recker was diagnosed with Autism, I wouldn’t say I was devastated, but I was honestly asking, “Why?” It was tough for us to accept when he was so innocent. Then having our second grandson diagnosed with Autism, I must be honest, I rocked my testimony, hitting my knees continually asking, “Why, why would you send these spirits to the same parents?” This distress can shake faith in the reality of a loving and all-powerful God. I felt the spirit continually reminding me the Lord knows all, and if I continued without faith, doubt could grow and spread. It could make me, or my children turn away from God, blaming him for the thought of him being indifferent or cruel. I knew I needed to check in with Him daily, or those feelings could lead to a loss of faith and question whether there was a God. Again, I found myself asking like I did several months after processing a cancer diagnosis....” why me?” with the comforter conveying to me repeatedly, I soon asked, “Why not me?” It takes time to get that pain to go away, but I can honestly say now, “Thank you, Lord, for blessing us and trusting us with these two little boys” (I am not speaking for Jeremy or Kayla, I’m not sure they are feeling the same.)  What a pure love they have for us and we for them.  

It soon became apparent that for me to trust Him, I must be transformed by making righteous choices daily, which is hard to do. I often wonder if I am prepared for such a great trust. Passing through trials and testing requires a great deal of faith. I deal with facts, and the education for me could come only as I allowed myself to be subject to trials while serving God and others for Him. I’m so grateful for this education as I experience misery and happiness, sickness and health, sadness from sin, and the joy of forgiveness. I’m convinced that forgiveness can come only through the infinite Atonement of the Savior, which He worked out through pain we could not bear and which I can only faintly comprehend. It comforts me even to know I must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help me and others who suffer. Faith in that power has given me patience as I pray, work, and wait for help. He could easily take this away, but He chooses to teach by personal experience. Just as I need to learn from my own subjective experiences. The Lord’s relentless answers to my pleading have helped and encouraged me in times of darkness. Even when I feel the truth of the Lord to deliver me in my trials, it still tests my courage and strength to endure. Lately, it feels like it will not end; during these times, even physical strength is complex, and listening to RS lessons on how to deal with trials and adversity is hard to comprehend. The comments made are even difficult to hear. (Sorry just being honest) I have seen faith and courage come from my testimony. I am being prepared for eternal life. The Lord will rescue His faithful children. The child who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualifies for eternal life can find peace during the struggle. This is so much easier to write than live through. I am far from perfect, but I have begun to prepare my heart to be worthy of the Lord. I’ve had the attitude, “Things will work out.” Medical insecurities have not eroded my faith but have tested and strengthened it. And the feeling of peace the Lord has promised has already been delivered during the storm. Other miracles are sure to follow. I expect miracles to happen and thank the Lord ahead of time for the gift that I know is just around the corner. I watch from a distance how Kayla and Jeremy have embraced the trial they have been faced with.

Recker and Ezra are beautiful, loving children, but don’t mistake their love and affection for an easy road to take. From day to day, they struggle, not knowing “what will happen next?” Those boys are into everything. Recker and Ezra are both non-verbal, so imagine their frustration knowing everyone around them can talk. Their only way of communication is by taking us by the hand and leading us to what they need or want. I can only translate my feelings as a grandparent, not as a caring parent for 24 hours, worrying 24 hours. The special bond these boys have with their cousins and family is unconditional love. However, I can’t imagine the heaviness on his parents' shoulders. The responsibility the Lord has given them is beyond what I can comprehend. I know I am on the road to being the best I can be, so I can live with these perfect little boys for eternity. I don’t know why, but the Lord customizes trials to strengthen and purify us individually. Often it will come in the inspiration to do what might seem especially hard for the person who needs help himself. The test, and there is always a test, is how we deal with the trial. From my experience, I know that He can and will give us strength to rise through every problem. 

Finding Serenity Now

 

SATURDAY, MARCH 7, 2015

Finding Serenity Now

I know people who were born happy. Then some struggle most of their lives trying to figure out what happiness is, only to discover it was within them the entire time. I live somewhere between being happy and striving to be completely 100% satisfied.

This past year it's been a struggle for me to find the balance. When I am lacking in an area where I truly desire to accomplish a better version of myself, I study and make goals to help me achieve that attribute. No one likes to be around a downer person all the time. I judge myself harder than anyone else could, so I become exclusive. The study of true happiness has been an absolutely intriguing subject.

I began by becoming an ambassador for happiness at LiveHappy.com. It is free but keeps me in check with acts of kindness, giving me ideas for serving others. I have struggled with insomnia since my cancer diagnosis. Researchers have found that happy people sleep better, live longer, and have a more extensive and active social network of friends. They make better bosses, better decisions, and even more money. I feel like I just described my sweet husband. His head hits the pillow, and he is gone to dreamland--he never talks negatively and always looks at the bright side of things. We introduced me to folks he sold a home to 20-30 years ago; he remembers them, their children, their parents, etc. Without hesitation, they always say, "We love your husband; he's the best realtor we have ever dealt with"  I'm pretty sure there are a few passengers at USAirways who would not have that to say about me.

There is a book called The Upside of Your Dark Side; it was interesting to read as I studied what should be a superficial attribute that can be so complex. Maybe we are trying too hard to be happy. The P.H.D. who helped co-write the book suggests that emotions of anger, guilt, anxiety, and sadness can be beneficial. The good news for me, I struggle with all of those. Reading it intrigued me even more, to find out how he came to that conclusion. He said instead of trying to be happy every waking moment of our day, It's all about balance. It's about finding pleasure in what we enjoy and learning from the obstacles we must overcome. Anyone who knows me knows my philosophy is always about what we learn from heartache. Still, honestly I never really thought my struggles with anxiety, guilt, or sadness were part of the balance needed to master the attribute of true happiness. Putting on a happy face 100% of the time is not REAL; ultimately, my goal is to be entirely true to myself.

If we could all wrap ourselves in bubble wrap to avoid the problematic but REAL life situations, we suffocate ourselves from growing into our authentic selves; besides, it's unrealistic. Once I realized this, it was like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. For me, it's about working on what I can control. It is scientifically honest and freeing to let go of the burden and pressure to always be happy. In today's world, more than ever before, people compare themselves to others for approval. Our world has changed, and social networking constantly reminds us of the amount of "Likes" a person gets. My daughter just recently told me there is a way to buy "Likes" I just about lost my lunch. Really? How sad is that? Social media is fun, can help build businesses, and keep us caught up on friends and family. I have many times  prayed for people who not known they needed it had I not seen it on social media. It has given us a  great tool an excellent ativating happiness on a different level. For example, a friend of , mine Kara Kelly was celebrating her 40th birthday, rather than a physical gift she asked people to do something nice for someone else that day and then hashtag it. Knowing her this was a genuine request, and I enjoyed doing it. Normally we have been taught to do acts of kindness as an anonymous gift so as to not pat ourselves on the back. There are times when anonymous gifts are necessary, those are not what I am referring to.

Since studying happiness one of the goals I gave myself was to give at least one act of kindness a day. The genuine joy I have received from doing this has now become second nature to me. Everyone can do it, but intentionality has to be considered when starting out. These can or cannot be monetary. A smile cost nothing, when I lost my smile I had to get a bit more creative (L.O.L.) helping someone put groceries in their car, picking up something from the store for a home-bound person, telling someone you like their outfit, or their hair looks good, are all acts of kindness.

All of our emotions serve a purpose, this is why Heavenly Father has blessed us with the ability to feel sad, lonely, angry, etc. The fluctuation of those emotions is what helps us to balance out and appreciate the happy moments. How do you measure your happiness if you have never felt any other emotion? The idea of happiness is similar to the wanting to be richer or healthier-- I think the reason why our happiness levels fluctuate from one day to the next or for some hour to hour is that we are all subject to things we cannot control, the traffic, weather how much sleep we are getting. I know for me when the negative sets in it's because I have set my pedestal for happiness way too high and I feel like I have failed. Just like Love in our life, we have to let it happen. You can't MAKE yourself feel something, and those feelings may change from day to day.

Doing things you enjoy is the best way to replace negative with happiness. When we allow ourselves to feel the full range of emotions our Heavenly Father has blessed us with, we are happier people. Being grateful and thanking our Heavenly Father for those emotions is the key to finding true happiness. I'm working on this right now in my life, I have a long way to go but I'm glad I listened to the spirit tell me there were things about myself I needed to do so that I could quit wasting time and find serenity now.

My Kaitlyn Rae

 March 6, 2015

My Kaitlyn Rae

Happy Birthday to my sweet, sassy, kind, and funny daughter. You have been such a light in my life. I don't believe a day passed that you didn't make Dad and I laugh. You had silly faces and the cutest little raspy voice. Life with you has been a dream come true. You have brought me so much joy, I have laughed with you until I've pee'd my pants. 

I remember when Pioneer School was the school, we started Blake and Kayla at Pioneer School, Blake had a speech problem and had 36 children in the class. Dad and I immediately pulled them out of school and put them at Edu Prize.

One day, a few years later, you and Haleigh were in the car with me to go pick up Kayla and Blake from school. You said, "Mommy I want to go to that school "as we drove by Pioneer. I liked the Edu Prize, but I also wanted you to be able to make your own choices. So, you started school at Pioneer and had the greatest teachers every year. They loved you too. I remember going to the Grand Canyon for the first time with you and your class with Mrs. Herr. Everyone loved you at school, and you made friends with everyone.

Now that you get older, I am impressed with your choice of friends, you are still happy all the time. I love you so much, and cannot believe how fast the time fly's by, I want you to be a toddler again.  I love you I love you I love you.