El Casa De Monya

 

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2014

El Casa De Monya

I spent most of the summer months in the Mayo Clinic hospital for a few weeks, then at Cleveland Clinic for seven weeks. Eric, I, Blake, and Chloe had planned a trip to the Dominican Republic, where Blake served his mission. We soon realized I could not make that trip, but I begged them to please go; my heart told me they needed to visit the people who loved my son for 2 years as he served, and they helped him. Oh, how happy I am today; I received this video and article from someone I have never met. I was highly emotional watching it. The impact it had not only on myself but also on Eric. It must have been quite an experience because they have not talked much about it to me; Eric is a compassionate giving man but is quiet about it; he never shares these types of things with others; he does them with a pure heart, not expecting a high five so to say.
Here is the link if you would like to watch http://colormyworldkids.org/2014/06/19/color-my-world-home-announcement-the-alamonte-family/

To these gracious people and my husband for having such a giving heart, I am overwhelmed and grateful to you tonight as I watch this. The tears are flowing, I am so thankful to have met you two years ago when we sat at your dinner table, and I am honored that you would dedicate your home to me. Thank you for watching over my son while he was away from his mama dealing with cancer; seeing your love and respect for our son during this challenging time is so touching, and I cannot thank you enough. I will be there with you again one day, and we will break bread together in joy and happiness.

Love came in a box

MONDAY, JUNE 23, 2014

Love came in a box

Update on the last couple of days.  It has become tough to be so far away from my family; I miss them and love them so much. I have tried FaceTime with them, and most of the time, it works, but on those days, it doesn't work my heart is a little heavy. I miss my Recker Love and Ezra's smiles and giggles. I'm so afraid they will not remember me when I get home.  With the changes in my face, they were already beginning to doubt my relation to them before I left.  Eric, Blake, and Chloe have been in the Dominican Republic for 10 days--I intended to go with them; this trip had been planned for quite some time; when my sudden surgeries took precedence, Eric immediately wanted to cancel the trip, and I begged him not to. I thought it would be a great bonding time for Blake and him. I was correct; they had a wonderful time and are all on a flight back to Arizona. While they were in the Dominican Republic, they had the opportunity to work with Dr. Kelly, a surgeon Chloe works with, his family is also dear to our family, and we adore them. Dr. Kelly is a surgeon and has been going to the Dominican Republic for 3 years to serve and give dental surgery to those in need, those who otherwise would not have the money to pay. I will never regret having them go, it has been brutal here in Cleveland without family, but I feel blessed to have modern technology where we can see and talk to each other through satellite. I felt the spirit telling me to have Eric go; it was so strong that I told him if he stayed home, I would not come to Cleveland Clinic or have any surgery....it meant that much to me for him to go. He has not missed out on one thing here, I have had to entirely rely on the Lord to help me make some significant decisions; it has been an excellent opportunity for me to get closer to my Savior than I ever thought I could, I have one spiritual experience upon another, and I know this is where I should be.  I am not sure what the outcome of this surgery will be, but in my heart, I know I should be here.

Kaitlyn always sends me pics of the boys
love love love

Haleigh with Ezra and Recker, thank you
for brightening my day

I got a knock at my hotel door this morning; it was a postman (weird on Sunday) who delivered a package from the people in my home ward.  When I opened it, a gust of love took my breath away. It was filled with cards, notes, gifts, and love from all the people I admire and love so much who live in our ward.  I was overwhelmed with the spirit as I read each one of the cards and notes repeatedly. I had no idea I was so loved.  I will never be able to thank each one of them, but I have FAITH & HOPE in knowing they know.

Thank you, thank you

Marian Priday--The source of putting together my box of love

 Eric and I moved into this ward when I was 30. Haleigh was in the nursery; all my children were baptized while in this ward. I was dealing with family matters that eventually ended sadly with my mom and dad cutting ties with me. Wally Slade was our Bishop, and since then, I relied so much on the women and men of this ward for an example. It was one of the most challenging times of my life, and I am so grateful to have moved where we did; I had to learn how to parent these little children of mine with lessons from Relief Society, I soon found the Lord leading my eyes and heart to watch and learn from the people around me. Most of those people are still in the ward, but our children grew older as new people moved in and out. Teaching teens to hold to the rod was harder than I thought, and again I listened with my heart and watched with my eyes, there are too many people to thank, and most do not even know the example they have been.

This morning I went to the Shaker Ward it was about 10 minutes from my hotel...everything was pushing against me to get there on time--I needed to check out of the hotel, and barely made it to Sacrament. I felt at home as I walked in, sat down, and was able to, with a very still soul, partake of the sacrament. There are two things I would change, the bread for the sacrament (thank you, Junel Durfee) and the music I kept thinking to myself, "we have such a powerful man behind every note played in our little 6th ward, and his name is 'Stephen Phelps' tears bubbled up and rolled down one cheek I miss my home ward.

I was glad I had on my mask and eye patch, two reasons 

• 1. No one could see my eye, and tears only fell from one eye.  
• 2. With the mask on, they could not see my crooked smile, a little girl walked by, and I smiled at her with my eyes, and she smiled back. I will never forget this little girl. She sang 'I'm trying to be like Jesus' with an angelic voice; I closed my eye and listened. It was beautiful. 
• Then the counselor conducting the meeting announced how the meeting would go from that point. It was something I had never seen before--and I loved it. He said they were going to have a Hymnology. It was a normal thing that they do a couple times a year, and today was the day; how blessed I felt to be there.

It is something like a testimony meeting. Only whoever feels the spirit goes to the podium and tells of their favorite Hymn and why the congregation sings the song. The list of Hymns was some of my favorites too. 

1.  Count your many blessings 

2. Praise to the Man 

3. Love at Home 

4. Where Can I turn for peace 

5. Master the Tempest is Raging  

6. I know my father lives 

7. Because I have been given much 

8. The Iron Rod  

9. I believe in Christ and 

10. Sisters in Zion. 

This ward is filled with multi-cultures, and it was refreshing to see and hear from members of all races.

Sister Franklin

Bore such a strong testimony today

Sister Franklin and her Nephews

 A little boy with Down Syndrome walked up to me and hugged me, then said, "Hi" he reminded me of CJ Udall-- tears filled my eyes, but then what he did next was even more touching, without knowing I had a BAHA implant in my head, he turned around then back and looked at me,  took my hand and placed it on his BAHA, he too has SSD (single-sided deafness) I have yet to meet anyone who has a BAHA. I have no idea his name, but I will never forget his piercing eyes as he stared into mine. At that moment, I could feel the Savior's love all around me.

When the meeting was over, I was filled once again with the strength to get through this week as I prepared for the next surgery.  Today has been a day for giving me inspiration to continue on, knowing whatever the Lord has planned for my future is His will. Although I may not understand why things happen the way they do, I can rely on Him to get me through ALL of my journeys here on earth until I return to Him again.

 

Mastering the Mundane

 

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7, 2014

Mastering the Mundane

It looks nastier than it really is...it broke last night. Today, I'm happy--not for any other reason, but I'm Alive, I'm Free, I'm Me--I will keep waking up, and I was still Monya. Still here, the sun is shining through my bedroom window; I got up and walked out onto the balcony off my bedroom--I remember the day when I could look out there and see the Superstition mountains of Arizona. Although, they are more like hills, comparatively to the huge Mountains in other parts of the world and country. For us born and raised here in Az we love our mountains.

 I realize I am living this continual roller coaster, one month great, and 3 months not so great.  I am always constantly wondering; what am I not getting? What is it that I should be learning here? I've tried to run and hide, I've tried to ignore it, I've even tried to pretend this is just a big joke...jokes on me.

When Blake was in the Dominican Republic and I was enduring the treatments of chemo and radiation, I often times went in his room and knelt to pray, begging and pleading with the Lord to take my pain away, asking why my son had to be gone for so long, I just wanted one more hug from him, thinking back now I remember those days as daily trials, things were happening so quickly I had a ray of HOPE, knowing Blake was given a blessing by President Greer the night before he left for the MTC telling him if he remained obedient the Lord would bless our family, and that I would be here when he returned in 2 years. I thought when Blake came home, the trials would magically end...after all Blake did all he was asked to do. He was obedient, he had the best two years of his life, and our family felt the overwhelming power of the Priesthood and the Holy Ghost with us, we saw miracles happen with my health.   I had it all figured it out, and I prayed thanking Him for bringing my son home safely. Little did I know, my journey was just beginning. Have you ever had a beautiful heart break written and sung by Hilary Weeks? Whenever I hear that song, it is as if it was written fo me.  Every fear I had and every pain I felt I would pray he would take it all away--I never dreamed I would make it through, now that I'm here where I am right now still with sleepless nights and continual fear, I don't think I would ever trade any of that for anything, nothing I say or write can come close to explaining the emotions I have had through this beautiful heartbreak of mine.

He wore those CARS swim trunks all summer

I love this...Blake thank you

dirty like a boy...he knew Boston was #1

Why get a bowl, bonbon lets me eat from the carton...shhh don't tell mom

Recker would live at the ocean, he never tires of it

Just like Blake was, Recker loves the outdoors

school picture--I love it

Today Recker was here, and I watched him swim, no words were spoken I just wanted to watch his happiness, I wanted time to stand still so I could remember every minute every second of his laughter. This little angel boy has brought me such happiness, I just want to squeeze him, I hope he knows I love him so much; I would gladly take away his trial, to hear him say "I love you" to his mom and ad.  Every parent deserves to hear those words, but with Recker he shows his love in so many other ways--I have an open wound on my upper arm where the doctor took skin to graft into my ar.  Today, when Recker was swimming he  scratched his knee and he showed it to me, I blew on it gave him a hug and he was off to jump, splash and play.....when it was time for him to leave he clung to me, not wanting to leave, I bent down to hug him, it was then that he saw the sore on my arm, and in an innocent pure gesture he took my face in his hands stared into my eyes, trying to communicate he lifted his shorts up to show me his scratch, then he kissed my arm. He was trying to show me, we were both scarred with bruises--at that moment I couldn't explain the rush of emotions that came over me, this little boy knew how to enter my heart, fill up my eyes with joyful tears that seemed to flow so easily today. I felt like my heart was bursting to understand, I could not catch my breath enough to be able to say, "I Love You", he kissed my cheek and then my arm. He took me by the hand, and we walked to the car holding hands, I hugged him like it was the last day I would ever see him again.

I gave a testimonial at one of our Nerium meetings, usually, I am composed because I have learned to say when people ask how I am doing, "it couldn't be betterer" I'm grateful when I least expect it, the clouds part and a ray of light reminds me who I am and that God has heard every single prayer today was one of those days I think because I have been so desperate for answers, I learned today I have a purpose, something totally different than what I had expected--answers came clearly.  Standing and having an opportunity to explain my story and my "why" for being involved with this company, I listened to others who spoke before me, and each of us had a different "why" some for financial freedom, some for self-development, single worthy beautiful women sharing their struggles and wanting not only to be self-sufficient but to find fulfillment in helping others find their true potential and happiness.

 When it was my turn to speak, the walls were taken down,  it came from my soul, as I explained my "why" I began to cry (so much for composure), I looked around this room filled with people who are dedicated hard working men and women, my eyes were brought to Crissy Caufman and her sweet husband, I had no idea who they were a few months ago now I include them in my friendship circle I have found, Liz Decker, never knew her before, she's amazing, in the back Danny Jones gave me chills an impressive young man who understands the Atonement, understands life's struggles and teaches me more than he knows, Shelli Richardson who listened to the spirit a few months ago not knowing -- I too was praying for a change to  me.  So, my "why" is different than most in that room, trying to bring me out of a cancer Mayo Clinic-filled life, I've found a way to reconnect with old friends and make new lasting friends if I never become monetarily wealthy being amongst happy uplifting people with integrity helping others is helping to refine me as I go through the bitter and sweet.

 As crazy and strange as it seems, I have found another "why" Recker, he's one of my heroes, he has more love and sweetness in his little 4-year-old body than some 40 years old's I know. Some may not know what a difficult financial burden it can be on a family trying to raise a child with special needs. I would love to provide a home for them where this little guy can run outside and play, a place to call me.  If I can give this my all with Recker in mind, I will be able to achieve that all. I will never give up, I just need to learn how to master the mundane -- showing up, doing my part, and then doing it again the next day--for every no I get a little closer to a yes, so I try not to take it personally and recognize it as a learning experience.  The joy I will feel when those dreams become real is REAL. It is going to happen...So did anyHappenrnthing today, yes, a big YES, nothing thatgiantdidn't already know but some things I have forgotten to tap into...remember two things I am blond, so it takes longer to sink in... haha and,  He always sends His love it has given me HOPE in the darkness and helped me back into the light, I've been blessed to see that the give and take are exactly what we all need to help us become who He wants us to be, as He allows those trials to strengthen us, I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year will bring fo me.  Something extraordinary is about ready to surprise even me; I can do anything with Him on my team.

Mastering the Mundane

 

WEDNESDAY, MAY 7, 2014

Mastering the Mundane

It looks nastier than it really is..it broke last night.

Today I'm happy--not for any other reason but just because I'm Alive, I'm Free, I'm Me--I woke up, and I was still Monya. Still here, the sun is shining through my bedroom window; I got up and walked out onto the balcony off of my bedroom--I remember the day when I could look out there and see the Superstition mountains of Arizona. Although, they are more like hills, comparatively to the huge Mountains in other parts of the world or country. For us born and raised here in Az, we love our mountains.

 I realize I am living on this continual roller coaster, one month is great, and 3 months not so great. I am always constantly wondering, what am I not getting? What is it that I should be learning here? I've tried to run and hide, I've tried to ignore it, I've even tried to pretend this is just a big joke.... jokes on me.

When Blake was in the Dominican Republic, and I was enduring the treatments of chemo and radiation, I often times went into his room and knelt to pray, begging and pleading with the Lord to take my pain away, asking why my son had to be gone for so long, I just wanted one more hug from him, thinking back now I remember those days as daily trials, things were happening so quickly I had a ray of HOPE, knowing Blake was given a blessing by President Greer the night before he left for the MTC telling him if he remained obedient the Lord would bless our family, and that I would be here when he returned in 2 years. I thought when Blake came home, the trials would magically end. Blake did all he was asked to do. He was obedient, had the best two years of his life, and our family felt the overwhelming power of the Priesthood and the Holy Ghost with us; we saw miracles happen with our health.  I had it all figured out, and I prayed to thank Him for bringing my son home safely. Little did I know, my journey was just beginning. Have you ever had a beautiful heartbreak? Whenever I hear that song, it is as if it was written for me. Every fear I had and every pain I felt, I would pray he would take it all away--I never dreamed I would make it through; now that I'm here where I am right now,, still with sleepless nights and continual fear, I don't think I would ever trade any of that for anything, nothing I say or write can come close to explaining the emotions I have had through this beautiful heartbreak of mine.

He wore those CARS swim trunks all summer.

I love this...Blake thank you

Dirty like a boy...he knew Boston was #1

 

Why get a bowl? Bonbon lets me eat from the carton...shhh don't tell mom.

Recker would live in the ocean; he never tires of it.

Just like Blake, Recker loves the outdoors.

School picture--I love it

Today Recker was here,, and I watched him swim; no words were spoken. I just wanted to protect his happiness; I wanted time to stand still so I could remember every second of his laughter. This little angel boy has brought me such joy; I just want to squeeze him; I hope he knows I love him so much; I would gladly take away his trial to hear him say "I love you" to his mom and da   Every parent deserves to listen to those words, but Recker, he shows his love in so many other ways--I have an open wound on my upper arm where the doctor took the skin to graft into my ear. Today, when Recker was swimming, he scratched his knee, and he showed it to me; I blew on it, gave him a hug, and he was off to jump, splash and play.....when it was time for him to leave, he clung to me, not wanting to go, I bent down to hug him, it was then that he saw the sore on my arm, and in an pure innocent gesture he took my face in his hands stared into my eyes,  trying to communicate he lifted his shorts up to show me his scratch, then he kissed my ar . He was trying to show me we are both scarred with bruises--at that moment, I can't explain the rush of emotions that came over me; this little boy knew how to enter my heart, fill up my eyes with joyful tears that seemed to flow so quickly today. I felt like my heart was bursting to understand; I could not catch my breath enough to say, "I Love You"; he kissed my cheek and then my arm again. He took me by the hand, and we walked to the car holding hands; I hugged him like it was the last day I would ever see him again.

Usually, I am composed and I have learned to say when people ask how I am doing, "couldn't be better" Having this moment with Recker today, a reality was made clear to me, we are a forever family, we are not without trials, every family has them, they manifest themselves in different ways from family to family, but none of us are without problems. I'm grateful when I least expect it, the clouds part, and a ray of light reminds me who I am and that God has heard every single prayer, Heaven surprises me constantly when I least expect it...today was one of those days I think because I have been so desperate for answers, I learned today I have a purpose, something totally different than what I had expected--answers came clear.

As crazy and strange as it seems, I have found another reason to live Recker; he's one of my heroes; he has more love and sweetness in his little 4-year-old body than some 40 years old's I know. Some may not know the difficult financial burden it can be on a family trying to raise a child with special needs. 

So, did I learn anything today? Yes, a big YES, nothing that I didn't already know but some things I have forgotten to tap into. remember 2 things I am blond so it takes longer to sink in...haha and,  He always sends His love it has given me HOPE in the darkness and helped me back into the light, I've been blessed to see that the give and take are precisely what we all need to help us become who He wants us to be, as He allows those trials to strengthen us, I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year will bring for me. Something unique is about ready to surprise even me, I can do anything with Him on my team.