Dolphin World in San Carlos

 Dear Frenchie;

I thought about you all day today. I woke at 5:30 to see the sunrise and go to the estuary with Jori. Then Dwight picked us up with the boat. I got to see dolphins. It was so much fun. They swarm right next to the ship and are so playful.

Then we went out to Window Rock. It's gorgeous, and Dwight said it's an excellent place to dive. It was just me, Dwight, Jori, and her brother Scott. Then we headed over to pelican poop Island. Jori and I got out of the boat and looked for shells. There were the most beautifully colored shells out there. I collected quite a bit to add to our collection in Rocky Point. 

We ate at Sunset. I had flatbread that almost broke my teeth on—the crust was as hard as a rock, and you would have loved a beet salad.

The Sunset and sky were among the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It looked like pink cotton candy. I'm so happy Jori and Dwight invited me. A lot has stayed the same at Condos Pilar; now they have Del Fin condos next door, and they look nice, but I was happy staying with the Udalls. It's time for bed, but one day closer to being with you.

See You Soon

Monya

San Carlos Continued

 Dear Frenchie;

I wish you were here; I miss you. I wake up at 5:30 a.m. every morning. Jori and I walk down the beach to the estuary to collect sea shells. I meditate on this little sand hill while Jori searches for 'football' shells. I'm sure that is not their real name, but they look just like a bit of football with the threads—they are so cute.

Weslie and Phoenix would love to be here picking out all of the versatile shells; they differ from those in Rocky Point. There are much more well-formed shells here, and of course, you know I had a bag full. I called to reserve the condo next door to Jori and Dwight for next year. I wish I could get the kids to commit, but you know how that is. It makes me feel bad. They have traditions with the Wright and Bigelow families. I just want to start some of our traditions. I can't trust getting them all condos down here, and then at the last minute, they cancel because something better came up. These condos have to be reserved a year ahead of time.

Today, I sat on the beach thinking about you and did something you would be proud of me for. I went into the water in Mexico and climbed up to my neck. I was scared to death, but I did it. Jori and I kayaked today, which is one thing I have never done before. It was enjoyable.

Dwight, Willie, and Marion were gone all day diving; I went into my bedroom when they talked about it because I knew if you were here, you'd be on that boat, too. It's so hard to see lives moving forward. I wanted that with you. We were supposed to build the cabin and get old together. We got old, but not old enough for me to let you go. I'm struggling with your absence ... can we just have a do-over? LOL. I shouldn't be selfish, wanting you to still be here with me, but I can't help it. You always loved these trips.

Tonight, there was a gorgeous sunset. I took pictures and thought about you. I met a woman who does massages and had one yesterday. She knew nothing about me but knew I was holding a lot of grief, pain, and trauma on my shoulders. She could read my energy and detected many things in my life.

Willie made lobster, salmon, and steaks for dinner, which I know is your kind of meal. It was delicious. I mixed my lobster with garlic mashed potatoes and his buttery sauce. It was good, but too much butter for me.   

I think I might actually gain some weight while I'm here. The last time I saw Doctor Castrol, he did not like how thin I had gotten. I was at 109 pounds, and he said I needed to be at 126 to be considered healthy. It is hard for me to remember to eat or want to eat without you. 

I could feel you tonight at Sunset, so I sat out on a chair and talked to you while I was eaten alive by mosquitos. I sure love you and wish time would go faster. I want to be with you.   

See You Soon

Monya                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                         

WHY? Maui Day 5

My sweetheart died on February 21, 2024. My heart is broken. The day started out great. We woke up, and Eric was making breakfast. We decided to spend another day at the beach. Dwight and Eric wanted to snorkel. 

We arrived at the beach and found our space. There were quite a few people at Black Rock Beach. Eric kissed me and said, "I love you; see you soon." I said, "I love you and better see you soon." This was different for Frenchie to say that to me. I have told him for years that when someone passes away, he should never say goodbye, always say, 'See you soon.'

Jori took this picture of

Dwight and Eric as they walked off.

Eric was dead within an hour.

Jori and I settled in. I put on my headphones and relaxed. Soon, two women ran down the beach, yelling, "Jori or Monya?" Jori answered them, and we were running toward Dwight in a panic. I immediately knew something was wrong with Eric, and my heart started beating hard. He was lying on the beach, and paramedics were working on him. I stood by while paramedics worked on him for what seemed an hour. It was scary; I was screaming through my tears, "Don't leave me, Eric. Wake up, please." or "Heavenly Father, please don't take him from me." I begged and pleaded while listening to this machine say, "Start compressions" and then "Stop compressions." A very kind policeman stood by my side when he said, "There is nothing more we can do; he is gone. I'm so sorry we are calling it at 12:45." I dropped to my knees, yelling, and now hysterically crying, "No, please, no. Keep trying."

I watched as they wrapped Eric in something to carry him to the ambulance. The policeman walked with me to the ambulance. I kept thinking. "What is happening? This can't be true. We arrived at what looked like a garage (holding area for the dead). The paramedics got Eric out of the ambulance, and the policeman got me a chair and then said, "You can stay with him for as long as you want." I thought, as long as I wanted ...? Maybe he'll wake up if he feels my warm body on him. I began rubbing his chest and arms with my hands, praying for him to wake up ... why wasn't he listening to me ... WAKE UP, PLEASE, WAKE UP ... my voice fell on deaf ears, and my tears fell on his face as I held him close.

Soon, Jori and Dwight showed up but gave me space and time to say, "See you soon."

Jori took this picture from behind me. 

Dwight and I shared some exhausting

tears. A very kind Hawaiian woman

wiped the sand off Eric's face.

We stayed until the paramedics returned and told us they had another call. We would have to say our 'goodbyes.' Then they wheeled him into a room with another dead body. My head was spinning. I am so grateful to Jori and Dwight for being with us. Jori took some notes from the other policeman standing with us. All I could think about was him being in that little closet with another body. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground and pretty sure I took Jori down with me; I fainted and not very gracefully. I felt so bad for Jori, and I was pretty embarrassed. 

I called Blake to tell him on our ride back to the resort. This surprised Jori and Dwight, who now tell me we had decided not to call him until we were safe in the resort condo. Blake asked me, "What's wrong?" When he heard me crying, I said, "Blake dad died today." He raised his voice and said, "What? Nooo." I handed the phone to Jori because I could not talk.

Maui Day 3

 Today we went to a beautiful beach. It was called McKenna Beach. Of course, Eric got bored just sitting, so he and Dwight took a little hike over the mountain. I knew Dwight would be careful to ensure Eric would not overdo it. 

Jori and I stayed. We were good just visiting with each other on the beach. Around an hour or two later, the boys came back with big smiles on their faces. I asked Eric what in the world was making him smile so big. He said, "On the other side of that rock mountain is the most beautiful lagoon." I said, "Oh wow, I wish I wasn't worried about hiking over those rocks. I'd go with you." He laughed and said, "It was quite a hike, I took my time, but it was worth it. It's a naked beach ..." I was so surprised I giggled and said, "Seriously? What did you and Dwight do." Now Dwight, Jori, and Eric were all laughing. Eric said, "Well, Dwight said to me, "you ready to go for it?" Then I said, "Hell yeah, we took off our swimsuits and went swimming." I roared, laughing, and said, "You know everyone on the beach thought you two were 'partners'?" Dwight and Eric laughed and said simultaneously, "Who cares? We had so much fun and just made a memory." I could understand that Eric always says "Life is Good."

Maui Day 2

 Oh boy, today was a good day in Hawaii; well, really, when is it not a good day in Hawaii?

We went to the beach, ate at a food truck, and laughed with Jori and Dwight. They are the best friends, and we have had so much fun spending time with them.

Having one-on-one time with Eric has been so fun; he's so happy. He kept saying how beautiful Maui was and wanted to look at real estate for a small home. The man loves real estate and the beach. His mom served her mission in Hawaii, and we talked a bit about her. We both miss her; Eric is very private and does not talk about her too much except with me. He loved her dearly, and seeing where she served made him feel closer to her. I love seeing him so happy. He enjoys life and never takes for granted every breath of life. Today was a good day!!!