The Shit Show 101

 Dear Eric,

Today, Kayla came to the house with the boys. They are getting big, but they are still so sweet and kind. Kayla asked if we could speak in private, so we went to our bedroom and sat on the bed. I knew something terrible would come out of her mouth but did not expect to hear what she said.

It took her some time to express herself, and her eyes filled with tears. I said, "What's wrong?" She began telling me about her marriage and how difficult it is to be married to Jeremy. She said he gets into these rages and lashes out by throwing things at her and screaming. She played me a recording she made during one of his rages. Eric, our little girl, was terrified. As I listened to her cry for help, I teared up. It was awful. I wish you were here to help, but I know you will guide me as her mother and her as our firstborn with your spirit. I had her turn it off because it was tough to listen to. I immediately went to her and hugged her, telling her I loved her. There were infidelities involved, and it made me sick to my stomach. She continued telling me about the domestic violence she has been receiving from Jeremy since they've been married. That means sixteen years of this, and why didn't I know? I'm her mother, shouldn't I know? Were there warning signs? 

She said Ezra told her he was scared, and that was all she needed to hear. She asked Jeremy to move out, and he did. I'm so proud of her strength, but you know, as well as I do, we do anything to keep our children safe. 

October 17th

I'm visiting with Teri Padovich and received a message from Jeremy asking if he could buy that big tent in the garage. I told him yes, not knowing what that thing was worth. Kayla met him at the house and gave him the tent.

Today, she told me they are going to separate for six months to see if he can get the mental help he needs. They will reevaluate after six months before making any permanent decisions. I told her I would support her in any decision she makes. I just want to be there for her with no judgment. I'm learning to lead compassionately, knowing we all make mistakes and that I love Jeremy. I don't like how he has treated her, but I still love him. I'm worried about him.

I'm still in probate because of Dana Harper. He has no case; we offered him his 1/4, which is $75,000, but he would not budge. Blake found an attorney. I really like him. He contacted Denny Dobbins and Nate Skinner to get more information. They both told him Dana has no proof of you, and he has decided to split the rent money, and he is asking for $250,000. I told the attorney our children had not paid a cent to live in that house. So now we are going to court, and Dana will have to pay my attorney's fees. No judge on the face of the earth will look at him and tell him I owe him that money. We offered him exactly what he would get at the full appraisal of $300,000. The attorney said, "What kind of friend comes begging for money from his dead friend's wife?"

I miss you so much and wish we could talk. I'm in tears all the time. I had no idea that I would be grieving and going through this at the same time. I love you, I miss you, and there are days when I have to get on my knees several times a day to ask for guidance. You are with me. I know where you are is beautiful, and you have work to do, but I want you back. I'm not ready to let go of you; I never will be. It's time for bed. I will write again, you know I will.

See You Soon

Monya

Taxes

 Frenchie, I started gathering all I needed to for our 2023 taxes. I'm sorry, but I never appreciated your hard work, not only for our family but also for filing our taxes. You were right, it SUCKS.

I'm not sure if I'm doing everything right, but the folks at Alt Key have been great about helping me. I am happy to say, tomorrow I will be turning all the tax information over to them.

I will be driving to Carlsbad again on Saturday with Josh and Dulce. We will meet Jori and Dwight at their condo, and then Dwight will drive Josh's car home. Believe it or not, he did not want to go to Disneyland with us. I know that was not your favorite place to go, and it is not the happiest place on earth. Jori wants to go to Sea World again. Eric, you, and I went there in January with them, and I do not want to go but have a hard time saying no to Jori. 

I went to Kara's today. Her daughter Graci is now helping with my hair extensions. The other lady was too out there for me. The last time I went in, she said, "So, you're single, right?" I answered NO. Then she said, "Didn't you recently lose your husband?" I said, "Well, I didn't lose him; he left to be in his next life." She looked at me like I was an idiot. Then said, "You know what I mean. You don't have a husband you are living with, so you are not having sex, right?" Then I told her it was really none of her business. She proceeded to ask if I was Mormon, I told her "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" She said, "Well, I have a client who came the other day; she is a divorced Mormon and thinks it's ok to masturbate; can you believe that?"

I had no idea what to say. I just looked at her like she was an alien, which I think she is. Then she said, "The Church is against masturbation. Didn't a bishop ever ask you how many times you did that a week when you were growing up?" I said, "No, I have never been asked that question ..." When I was trying to finish my sentence, she interrupted me and said, "Well, I did, and I was told never to do that and that it's unpure. This lady has been divorced for a while, and she said she masturbates... OMG, so against the church. No matter what your age or marital status. PERIOD." Then she proceeded to ask my take on using a vibrator; I told her I believed everything she was talking about had more to do with the person's personal relationship with God than it does with 'the church.' I have never been asked such questions before. I no longer wanted to participate in this discussion and tuned her out. 

Grace is getting married in December; I can't wait to attend her reception. It should be beautiful. When Kara started cutting my hair 30 years ago, Graci wasn't born. I remember how excited Kara was to be pregnant with a girl, and I told Graci that today. I wished someone could tell our daughters and Blake how I felt about being pregnant with each of them. I loved being pregnant. I never got sick and didn't gain too much weight. With Kayla and Blake, I lost weight, remember? You know that seems like yesterday?

I had lunch with Linda Bennett on Monday. Her oldest son, Kevin, named after his dad, lives less than a mile from us. Geez, I remember when he was born, also. How does time go so quickly?

I need to get to bed, Kaitlyn is coming over tomorrow, and I am excited to see her, so I need to get to bed.

I miss you and love you so much.

Monya