Oh, babe, I love you so much, but the memories we collected in this home with our beautiful children are hard to leave behind. I have them etched in my mind, though. We had such a successful life, and I thank you for that.
It's taken me two months to review all the receipts and bank statements you saved to find proof about Dana. Kayla helped me by taking bags home to go through. We finished last night, and I am glad that it is over. I used to get so upset with you about leaving receipts and unopened mail everywhere. I never appreciated why you did that, but I do now, and a Big Thank You. We found a lot. But I must admit there were times when I wanted to be mad at you.
I'm scared, nervous, and eager all at once. A new way of life is coming. By the way, I don't like it! I walk into that new house and have no feelings; I don't care. None of this means anything if I can't share it with you.
I remember when you and I lived in our first home on Seneca. You were so worried about being able to provide for Kayla and me, and it was hard on you. I can see us sitting on the sofa together as you explained the pressure you were feeling. I said, "I could live in a shoebox with you and be happy. Money? It's just not that important." I soon realized it was to you.
When we got engaged, I remember your mom explaining the personalities of each of her children. When she talked about you, she always looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and would tell me how happy she was that you had chosen me and me to be together as a family. But she warned me. She said, "Don't let Eric love money more than he loves his family." You never did; I always knew what was important to you. No one in the world knows you better than I do. Even though you were successful in the real estate market, you never let that get to your head. You were humble and kind, and I miss that. I didn't realize how well known and successful you were until you departed from this world. You loved real estate and loved making money, but never more than you loved our family.
I'll be moving soon, and I'm unsure how to gracefully do that without you. Thank you for loving me when I wasn't sure I deserved it. We had a beautiful love story. I just wish you understood the importance of that to me. Remarriage is not in my plans. I know I could never find someone as special as you, and I don't want to try.
I hope you are enjoying your new, beautiful life. Thinking about your reunion with your parents makes me tear up. I look forward to seeing and hugging them again, but for now, I move forward every day, hoping to make you proud of me.
I love you
Monya
