Sticks & Stones

 

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 2013

Sticks & Stones

Remember the phrase? “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you?” Whoever produced that saying was a little off their rocker-sticks and stones will certainly hurt bones and scratch the skin, but words, oh words, can leave a lasting sting on the heart and soul.

Even at my old age of fifty, words can hurt. They can penetrate the heart and soul and, for many, leave a lifelong scar. Interestingly, we sometimes say the harshest words to the ones we love the most. Why is that? Maybe because we know them the best and what will hurt them, we know they will forgive us, especially when it is family. I was so upset a couple of weeks ago that my daughter was wearing a pair of pants that belonged to me. Although this was not the source of my anger, it escalated into me telling her to take them off before she went home. I did this in anger and immediately felt the pain I had caused her. Of course, an apology was necessary, and I’m fairly sure this will be a comical story told at my funeral or memorial service one day when I am long gone. Still, as I write this now, I am embarrassed and sorry for how I treated her; it was unnecessary.

I was deeply saddened by words spoken to me recently, it’s going to take a long time to get those echoing words out of my mind and then out of my heart, not necessarily by a family member, but even a stranger can trigger a memory or thought that can hurt.

One of the only compliments I ever heard my mother give me growing up was that I could be stung by the words of others, sting back (sometimes unnecessarily), get over it, and move on.
In so many ways, I am still that little girl; I am usually not affected by the words of others unless they are words of wisdom I can use in my life. Other than those words, I try to keep the negative out, but I have this nasty side that comes out like the devil sometimes, you know when someone says something mean about one of your children? That mother hen comes out and fights for her own.

It’s incredible how a song or smell can take me back to my childhood or teen years. There are certain songs I listened to during challenging times in my life that now I cannot stand to have my ears hear. A smell will take me back to an awful memory of life. However, there are tender moments with music that will immediately take me back to a grateful place, a place to keep me grounded and happy for who I am and what I believe in.

The Lord gives us the ability to forgive others. This is a commandment. For so many years, I wondered how this was possible, how could our Heavenly Father ask us to forgive those who had hurt me so profoundly, especially the people in my life who I was sent to from Heaven to be protected by and loved unconditionally for eternity. I soon realized it was my responsibility to form my own relationships with others respectfully and worthily. As a young mother, I was unsuccessful in doing these things; I tried hard to keep my covenants but often missed the mark by raising my voice or speaking unkindly to my children or my husband. After attending the temple regularly, I realize now that Satan has ways of getting us to follow him. Then he says, “now go and get someone else to do this too” oh, how evil enjoys company. So many of us follow as it is so tempting to act out instead of embrace and say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong” so much of this selfishness we portray is Satan getting his way, prompting us to follow in his ways. I promise those ways will bring you into the darkness and can be a black hole hard to get out of.

Recognize the good in others, not their stains. At times, a stain needs appropriate attention to be cleansed but always builds on his or her virtues.

When you feel that there is only a thin thread of hope, it is not a thread but a massive connecting link, like a life preserver to strengthen and lift you. It will provide comfort so you can cease to fear. Strive to live worthily and place your trust in the Lord.

We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do everything the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time.

I love you, my sweet children; there is nothing you will ever do or say that can take away my unconditional love for you--