Still no news from Eric

 I received a phone call from Haleigh asking me if she could get the hospital bed for Dad and that he was not coming home. He is going to her rental just behind her home. I told her, "No, if your dad wants the bed, then he will call me. I've been advised not to allow any of you in our home, and the locks are changed." She said, "Okay." and hung up the phone.

Eric called me back and asked for the bed; I told him I had contacted a divorce attorney and that I was advised not to let anyone from my family enter my home under the circumstances. I asked Eric why he would tell anyone I was trying to kill him? His answer was exactly what I thought it would be. He said, "I don't remember; I was coming out of anesthesia." I said, "So, for over a month, we have not spoken. You woke up and didn't ask for me? I am your wife, and I thought your best friend. Did the kids say something to you about me to influence you?" He eventually told me that Kaitlyn and Kayla told him I left him at our home to die and that he didn't want any stress. Then he said, "I need that bed, or I can't leave." I told him it was fine for them to get the bed. 

This is my family, always blaming mom or dad for their unruly behavior. All of them but Blake and Haleigh. Haleigh was a dream child. Blake was kind and gave the best hugs, but we went through a challenging time when he was not obeying our house rules. He and Eric butted heads. It was difficult to watch. Eric always wants things his way, but he does not realize that our children, especially Blake at that time, needed love and acceptance from us; he needed our help and to show our unconditional love.

I miss Eric. I wish I could understand all this chaos in my soul. I continue to pray and ask for answers. I don't believe Eric wants to divorce me, but at this time, I'm heartbroken not seeing him or holding his hand, and all he says to me is, "I don't remember." He is not acting like I thought he would during this. Maybe we need to see a therapist, I'll ask Eric if that is an option when I talk to him next.