Dear Frenchie,
Today has been an incredibly difficult day.
Blake called and asked whether Chloe had contacted me about a flight credit. I was confused and asked him what he was talking about. While I was still on the phone with him, Chloe called, so I switched over to speak with her.
She asked whether Blake had called or texted me about the credit. I told her he hadn’t explained anything to me, but the credit had come from the cruise. I had purchased tickets for all of us to fly to Los Angeles, and when Chloe canceled, the value of her ticket became a trip credit. Apparently, Blake wanted to use it to fly to California, while Chloe wanted to use it for something else.
I was already confused, but then Chloe told me that she and Blake were separated—and had been for quite some time. She said they were planning to get a divorce.
Eric, I was completely shocked.
I had no idea.
When I went back to my conversation with Blake, he confirmed that it was all true. He has been staying at Kaitlyn and Brian’s house. I’m grateful they have opened their home to him, but I am so worried.
Apparently, the girls have been telling him for months that he needed to tell me.
Months?
What the hell?
My heart is breaking for both of them—and really, for the entire family.
I talked with Blake for a while and told him that, if I could offer him any advice, it would be to protect the children from as much of the conflict as possible. I didn’t mean that he should hide everything from them. I meant that he and Chloe should try not to speak badly about each other in front of the children or put them in the middle of what is happening.
They are so young, and children should never feel as though they have to choose between the two people they love most.
Blake told me that Weslie had asked him, “Dad, is our family ever going to live together in the same house again?”
He was broken.
I could hear it in his voice as it cracked while he repeated her words to me. I asked him what he had said to her. He told me that he and Chloe had planned to sit down together and talk with her, but Chloe had already spoken to her about it. He was hurt that they hadn’t been able to have that conversation as a family.
I told Blake I would help him in any way he needed. I also told him I was grateful he had finally trusted me enough to tell me what was happening.
He said he hadn’t wanted to tell me because he didn’t want me to worry.
I told him never to keep something this important from me again. Of course I will worry—I’m his mother—but I can handle whatever he needs to share with me. He doesn’t have to protect me by carrying something this painful alone.
Eric, I miss you so much.
The night Blake told me, I lay in bed staring at the pillow with your face on it and cried. I wanted more than anything to hear your voice and talk through all of this with you. You would know how to calm me down. You would remind me not to react too quickly and to love everyone through it.
I’m not sure how to help Blake, and I don’t know what the right answers are. For now, I am praying and planning to go to the temple, hoping Heavenly Father will give me clarity and help me know how to support our family without making anything harder.
I wish you were here.
I love you.
