Presidential Election 2016

 

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2016

Presidential Election 2016

I don't necessarily love our President!!

In what has been deemed the most controversial Presidential Election in all of history, I must admit I am not proud of how this election has been presented to not only the American people but the entire world, who is laughing at us right now.

If ever there was a time in history we needed love, acceptance, and inclusion it is now.  Neither candidate is on the same page as me on this issue.  I'm afraid our country is headed into the worst future it has ever seen.  Neither candidate is fit to be working as the President of the United States of America.  I remember when I was eighteen voting for the very first time.  I was proud of President Reagan and what he represented.  We all loved and admired him as a nation-whether you were Democrat or Republican, we worked together to make America a Great Nation to live in.

The confusion and deception are inconceivable, and the mainstream media has seized from presenting facts.  They are now a politically driven media, controlled by the candidates and who will offer them the best monetary compensation for reporting what the candidate tells them to report-simply, but they are controlled by political parties instead of reporting the truths. Never in my lifetime have I been wearying of the future of America, nor have I ever felt like I was forced to vote for a candidate just because one is less evil than the other?

Today Frenchie and I went to the polls like we always do but instead of being proud to be an American with the right to vote, it felt as if we were marching to the beat of a different drum. Tomorrow we will wake up and must be faced with a new President of the United States-Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton-who will win?  I don't know the answer to that quite yet, but I do know no matter who wins-American's lose either way.

Love The Ordinary

 

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2016

Love The Ordinary

     Sometimes it's good to sit back and enjoy an ordinary, normal day.  It is a treasure to be completely aware of who you are and where you are going.  I love to learn from other people, and I'd love to learn from you!

“Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf.  It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but it’s beautiful to love the ordinary.”  --Unknown Source

As I stumble through my life, I've come to realize how many things I have taken for granted.  Mostly the 'typical' everyday stuff we all seem to skip over.  The ordinary is often overlooked for the beautiful.  There is so much to love and appreciate about the routine day-to-day affairs of our lives.  

a view from the road

Recently I was driving towards Mayo Clinic for an appointment-I take the beeline highway which I have usually viewed as not very scenic, but on this day I noticed everyday beauty.  I had seen these a thousand times on that drive, but on that day they were beautiful.  I wondered why I had never taken the time to notice the cactus or the artistry of the desert.

My personal philosophy leads me to believe our Heavenly Father, who created all things, loves ordinary people as much as he loves what the world deems as 'beautiful' people. My personal beliefs also affirm that there is goodness in all of God's creations, not just the things that are easy on the eyes. I'm convinced that both ordinary people and nature deserve much more of our attention.

I am more spiritually in tune and mature than I was seven years ago--now when I recognize beauty, I'm able to see with a different lens-viewing 'ordinary' things through the eyes of God is a beautiful sight indeed.  Wouldn't it be nice if we all could see the world through the looking glass in this manner? How lovely it would be.

--Monya

Love Your Mistakes

 

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2016

Love Your Mistakes

You Will Do Foolish Things, But Do Them with Enthusiasm --anonymous 

Right now, I am here, where I am supposed to be! The boy has perspectives in my life and how I see others changed. Living with permanent facial paralysis has given me opportunities to live the life I was meant to live. I don't look back EVER! My eyes are looking forward with great enthusiasm.

One day last week, I lowered my standards and chose to react to a situation. I allowed another person's ignorant choice to get to me. I haven't felt anger like that in a long time; it didn't feel good and goes against everything I have worked so hard to change. Although I realize anger is a natural emotion that most of us have experienced, I felt shame and embarrassment for my reaction. Why? Because it is my choice to let anger engulf my thoughts and feelings, could I have handled this situation so differently? Within the moments after yes--Now? Not necessarily, a learning experience? Absolutely!

I have no control over another person's choices, but I do have over my own. Sincere love comes from inner freedom. One in which you are not controlled by the thoughts and negative feelings of others. Love leads to allowing your mind to be free of the world's view on healthy relationships. I've learned through the journey of loving myself love is kind-it's living free from the neurotic tangled messes in our heads of what the world defines love as. I have had to let go of my vulnerability and not let other people's negative influences penetrate me to the point where I lose control of that freedom.

I learned from this situation I could offer my compassion and goodwill to this person without agreeing with their decision. If I had stopped, taken time to think this person was having a bad day, or that they simply see things differently than I did, I could have avoided that useless anger I felt. This would have made a difference in their life, and I know it would have in my own life. 

My love would have been sincere, and their point of view was still validated, but without the bitterness, I felt. I have learned that what others do with the love I have to offer is on them, not me. All I could have done differently was to make that simple offering. I can love even as I disengage from tacky entanglements, wishing people nicely even if I need to step back. 

Possibilities

 

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2016

Possibilities

    

"For You, Whose Day It Is, Get Out Your Rainbow Colors and Make It Beautiful" --Nootka Song

Finding joy in possibility is magical. Living in a world as a child where possibilities were stripped of me, I now see endless possibilities for my life as an adult. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of authoring a book about my life--but I did it!!  

So many times, people see the gloom in life because that is what they have been taught. I hope to overcome seeing life through those lenses. I want my grandchildren to see their life with endless possibilities. They need to be taught they can achieve anything they put their mind to; they can dream the impossible and make it possible. I hope they embrace every opportunity, challenge with zest, and live in the moment.

My oldest grandson Recker was diagnosed with autism when he was just an incredibly young toddler; he is now almost seven years old; and still is non-verbal. I wish I could see life through his eyes. We, as a family, know he understands so much of what is happening around him; but communicating is difficult.

Last week, my daughter Kayla, his mother, received this from his teacher. Four out of five.

He understands more than I realized

Cubs Make History

 

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2016

Cubs Make History

On November 2, 2016, the Chicago Cubs made history.106 years have come since the Cubbies won a World Series.

The Frenchie and I were on the edge of our seats watching the seventh game of the World Series. I told him I wonder how many people had a heart attack tonight--sounds crazy? If you watched this story unfold, you know exactly what I am talking about. Sports announcers and social media made this fact clear several times, proclaiming if you have a heart condition, you should use caution watching the game.

Going into overtime, we watched as fans from both Chicago Cubs and Cleveland Indians were biting their nails, sitting on the edge of their seats, covering their eyes, and some watching with blinders on as they tuned out all worries of the world to see the ending of the great Bambino Curse. A win for either side would make history, and Cleveland Indians have not had success for over 60 years. Frenchie and I would have been happy for either team, but watching grown men cry and embrace each other was touching and gave hope for people to NEVER GIVE UP.

As with all games, there must be a winner and a loser. With thousands of people watching, half would leave happy and incredibly sad, but all would leave exhausted as they cheered on their team. Knowing Dr. Kreymerman is from Cleveland, I began texting him-needless to say, he went to bed disappointed. I was impressed with the classy response from the Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona-who has never lost a World Series Game -- he gave a compelling speech congratulating the winning Cubs team.

After the game ended, Chicago Cubs fans across the nation were celebrating. They will be honoring this win for years to come. Frenchie and I attend the spring training games every year here in Arizona-with that being said...Arizonians are all Cubbies fans. They maintained a 'never give up' demeanor throughout the entire season, and it paid off--Congratulations are an understatement-they deserved to feel proud and grateful for this historic win.

The Winning Game Was Played In Cleveland-
But Wrigley Field In Chicago Was Full of Cubs Fans

Captivating Moments

Final Score

History

What is your life for?

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2016

What is your life for?

Abraham Lincoln inspirationally asked the question:

"What is your life for?"
And answered his own question with this answer:
"It is for you."

I ask, "Do you love your life?"

I bought front-row seats for Hilary Weeks' concert a few months ago, and the show was held two weeks ago. I had no idea her Song Love Your Life would be her theme. I love Hilary! She is a woman after my own heart, trying to make a difference in the world with a positive, happy attitude.

Hilary's set was absolutely inspiring.

We only have one life to live, and I want to love my way through mine. There is so much negative influence in the media you don't need to search for it. Feeding your mind with constant adverse information is not only damaging to your soul, but it also affects your life.

You don't need to be monetarily rich to contribute significantly. So many people worry they need an amazingly great idea to be famous or influential, to make a difference. This is simply not true. I've seen small children make purposeful decisions that connect them with others. If we could all see the world through the eyes of a child, we'd see some amazing things.

Sadly, many people go through life believing that no one would miss them if they were to die. They genuinely think it would have been best if they had not been born-this saddens me and makes my heart hurt. I wish so badly for everyone to know their life matters; they are essential and alone can make a difference. How? By the small acts of kindness, they offer others daily. A smile says I care, and it does not cost anything. We each have a chance to draft our own story; it does not matter what adversity or trial you have had; make a choice every day to be happy and wake up with the attitude of joy and goodwill.

Intentionally make a difference in the lives of other people and yourself by making a difference with whatever you have, wherever you are. This does not require being in a position of power; it just requires you to be you. Love your life, and I promise it will rub off on the people surrounding you.  

My life is half over, and that is if I intend on living until, I am 106...I will!! Truthfully, I have spent the first half of my life selfishly worrying more about my problems. It took a life-altering experience to change my story; I now understand the only person who can write and finish my story is me...I am the author of my life, and I cheerfully realize there is no limit to the transformations I can and will make. 

Using my own life to positively impact and help change the lives of others is exciting. How powerful is it to completely control your thoughts and feelings? Once you understand and internalize this type of thinking, there are no limits to the change you can make in the world. If you have a heart and see a need to revise, you are on to something good; go with those feelings. Make a difference. Act on your instincts. Your passion will give you the leverage you need to make a meaningful change in someone else's and your own life.

Monya Williams

Surgery with Doctor Lettieri

 

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2015

Surgery with Doctor Lettieri

 It's been challenging to blog about current events. I've signed a book deal. However, I am going to keep up my blog. Soon, it will have the logo from my book. I will also have a FB page for caregivers, survivors, or anyone wanting to know how to comfort a friend, family member, or loved one during and after cancer has been diagnosed.

I entered the Mayo Clinic Hospital early on December 2, 2015. The last surgery I had with Dr. Lettieri was successful. He took a nerve from my leg and masterfully entered behind my left ear through the left side of my face under my lip. We were told if the surgery was a success, we would feel it grow one inch per month. It has done just that, and now it is time to finish the job. This is a very tedious surgery; finding a viable nerve from the right side of my face will take a few hours.

When I woke up in recovery, it was a little scary for Eric--not sure if I was having a stroke or reaction to medicine--either way, I dry heaved for over 24 hours. Did you know dry heaving hurts?

After neurology was quickly called to the rescue, I had CT-PT-MRI and brain scans--no sign of stroke--however, since I was still in much pain and dry heaving, I was kept for longer than expected.
My surgeon, Dr. Lettieri, is in Italy...What the Heck? Do Doctors get vacations?

I needed to go to the Mayo Clinic since the surgery sight was bleeding. I was temporarily fixed but will see another Surgeon when Dr. Lettieri returns. (Monday) Nothing was wrong with the surgeon I could see, but my ultimate choice is Dr. Lettieri--FOREVER- I made the mistake of going to Cleveland Clinic on a suggestion --HUGE MISTAKE -- I will never do that again.

While working on the nerve in my face, Dr. Lettieri had no choice but to try and work around my paraded gland. I know this gland and the damage that can happen if I don't get it fixed, but I am not seeing anyone else but Dr. Lettieri. The gland, for those of you who don't know, is the gland where your saliva generates. This gland was compromised, and my face has backed up blood, either running down my throat or out of my incision. We cannot keep it controlled with our own packing.

I'm looking forward to seeing Dr. Lettieri next week with more updates.

New Baby Coming

 

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2015

New Baby Coming

Today, as I entered the Mayo Clinic there was no piano playing. I proceeded to the lab to get blood drawn and tests necessary. My next stop was to see Doctor Northfelt, my oncologist.  I had an hour and a half wait. I heard the piano playing and decided to sit and wait in the peaceful lobby. I listened to the waterfall, and occasionally I could hear doctors and patients interacting as they walked by. But today I was grateful I could really enjoy the music coming from the Piano. This was much better than sitting on the third floor and smelling the sickness of chemo in the air. I put my head back and closed my eyes.  He started to play a medley of songs from The Sound of Music (my favorite movie of all time) It was enchanting to listen to. I remember when Eric and I visited Austria a few years ago after I finished my rounds of chemo and radiation. As each song played, I pictured that day we visited. I am a blessed lady. While there have been so many distractions in my life, in the past few years I have been blessed with so much. Patience is a virtue I never thought I could conquer, but in the case of my health, I have learned it is invaluable. I have been blessed with incredible doctors all from the Mayo Clinic, and Doctor Haberkamp from the Cleveland Clinic.

Last Sunday Blake and Chloe announced they are expecting their first baby in February. The doorbell rang, I answered, and outside was a set of three balloons with a note that said to read to the Family. I was then asked to pop the balloon that reads #1 on it, so I did. Inside was an ultrasound picture. I quickly wanted to read note #2 it read that someone in the family would be bringing grandchild #4 to join us in February. I thought for sure it was Kaitlyn and Brian. Scott and Haleigh, Blake, and Chloe have all been very verbal about waiting to have children. The third balloon was supposed to be popped by Eric, but I didn't know Oh, and I forgot to mention I was popping these balloons with a butcher knife. I quickly popped #3 to find out who it was.........Blake and Chloe......... Chloe said, "Monya look at the color of the confetti inside the balloon...." It was PINK. This will be our first granddaughter. I of course went crazy running around crying, happy, hugging them all the while with the butcher knife in my hand.... I'm sure it was an ugly sight, and I might have said a curse word... Eric and I are so happy. Blake has been such a great brother to his sisters, and compassionate and loving to me, and to Chloe, he will be an incredible dad. Chloe is so great with all the nephews and really loves them, I know she is going to be a wonderful mother.  I keep thinking about her mom who passed away with cancer during the time I was going through chemo. She is with our little granddaughter now, sharing with her all the love she has and passing on a legacy for Chloe to follow.

Hopes and dreams with Dr. Sal Lettieri

 

SATURDAY, AUGUST 1, 2015

Hopes and Dreams with Dr. Sal Lettieri

This time 6 years ago I waited anxiously for a negative diagnosis of cancer.  Not receiving the news I was expecting, looking back on this journey I've been on I realize I am being prepared. For what? That I can't answer, I'm not sure I want to know.  I would be lying if I said I have not had days when I want to crawl up in my bed, close my eyes, and not wake up.  I have felt unmeasurable pain, physical, mental, and spiritual.  I think we all want to believe we are "strong" If I had a dime for every time someone has told me how "strong" I am in the past 6 years, I'd be a rich woman. I'm grateful to those people.  So many times I have prayed for a miracle and felt abandoned. Now that I've cried enough tears to fill a swimming pool I trust in Him.  So many of us have a hard time recognizing the blessings that come in disguise of a trial.

The funny thing about that is, I am a rich woman. Not in a monetary way, but I am richer in the strength of who I am. I've been forced to live my life with loneliness, hardships, and pain. What if I had not experienced these things?  Where would I be now? Who would I be?  He has bigger and better plans for me. I am in the midst of fulfilling commitments and I know He will keep His promises to me. I will serve others, and be happy with whatever circumstances come my way.

I have had to learn to challenge my thinking and to lean on a positive environment of people.  I'm trying to learn how to balance my life.  Work, family, Nerium, Mayo Clinic, friends, personal development, and daily intentional goals have helped me to keep focused on what is most important.  I've had to be brave in circumstances where others don't understand or actually don't have the capacity to understand what this past year has done for me. Just when I thought I could never look myself in the mirror again, I became brave I let it define and refine me.  I learned that my face is not who I am.  I can't say I have fully embraced the idea of a partially paralyzed face.

A year ago I read a book that changed my life and added value to who I am, I will forever be grateful for having the knowledge before I read it, that I am a beloved woman of God. If not for having that testimony I probably would not have been able to make effective choices,. I've learned your thoughts either serve your growth or serve your decline. It's been proven we make an average of 90,000 thoughts every day. I've always been a journal writer, and a reader and I love good uplifting Christian music so when I read The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, I was like a sponge. I can attest to the power of words but as a child words were usually to my detriment. The Slight Edge convinced and reconfirmed to me I have been led and whispered to by the spirit all these years, I'm exactly where I am supposed to be in my life.

Humility is a word I probably would have never used to describe myself 6 years ago. I'm progressing by studying everything I can get my hands on. While studying I often think of all the people who have touched my life. Who I think are a true example of humility. Not one of these people knows they are humble, isn't that interesting? It is who they are, an attribute they have mastered without knowing they have. Some of these people have had devastating events happen in their lives and learned to control their thoughts and actions to mirror match a Christlike attitude. Others seem to not have had any apparent significant trials in their lives. They surround themselves or have been surrounded by proactive people who have built them up, and showed them compassion and unconditional love. The attribute of Humility is such a blessing, and not easy to accomplish.

During my reading of the Slight Edge and studying scriptures, I am finally able to say I believe in the power of the brain and how our thoughts, positive or negative can affect everything. I made the choice to look at myself in the mirror every day and say "You will smile someday" It's been over a year, and I've had 3 doctors tell me I will never smile again, I will never have facial movement on the right side of my face. I'm glad to report not all doctors are in charge of the outcome of a positive mental attitude. Dr. Lettieri told me I would smile again. He has encouraged me to continue to work that muscle.  Every morning for a year I tell myself over and over again "I will smile again" and then I tell my brain to tell my mouth to move. Dr. Lettieri has never given up on me, he has never said "You Can't or you Won't" It sometimes requires a surgical procedure but I am slowly but surely starting to tell my brain to simultaneously smile when I tell it to. It's working, I am reaping the rewards of my daily affirmations. It's a slight smile, but what's more important is realizing, just like reading from a good book every day, kneeling to pray every day, having faith all things I've done all my life are things I have mastered by doing them receptively. Those things are a part of who I am, If I stopped doing those things it would be like not brushing my teeth every day, eventually they would rot. It really has been such a slight change, but adding it to my daily routine has strengthened not only my brain and facial muscle but also led me to believe an arrow could be shot at me and I could repel it.

I am endeared to Dr. Lettieri, and to Heather Lucas. She has seen me through so much.  I miss Dr. Kreymerman and wish he was here to see my progress. Dr. Lettieri has now been renamed as my "smile doctor."

He said I would, I said I could and I am making progress. I am beginning to dream again, to have hope for my future. Prayer is the greatest miracle in my life when burdens have weighed me down, prayer from so many people has helped me to believe in myself again.  Putting my faith in Him I believe I have even greater miracles to come. He could take away all of this but His plan is perfect in every way. These trials are refining me into the woman I've always dreamed of being.

Post-Op with Dr. Sal Lettieri

 

THURSDAY, JULY 2, 2015

Post-Op with Dr. Sal Lettieri

This past week has been challenging, not because of the pain from the surgery. Staying home and not being able to drive has been difficult. Today, I had my post-op appointment with Dr. Lettieri. Sonya was so sweet to take me to Mayo. I don't like anyone to go with me because it is not a fun way to spend time. This time, I was forced to ask for help; Eric could not go because my appointment time was changed at the last minute. I wondered what she would think of Dr. Lettieri and hoped she would love him as much as I do. I warned her as soon as I introduced her as my sister Sonya, he would have an intelligent comeback about Monya-Sonya. I was right, and he asked why. "I said it was the '60s."  He laughed and asked if we had another sister named Tonya, and of course, I said, "Oh no, that would be too easy. Her name is Kris.
Today, he had a young resident with him, Dr. Deep, charming and incredibly young. Immediately, Dr. Lettieri announced he was not happy with the eye surgery. We will wait until all the swelling goes down, and then he will decide how to proceed with more surgery. My eyes started to open yesterday, dripping more than ever. He said it would get worse and wished he had been a little more aggressive with the bottom lid; it's drooping more than Dr. L wanted it to be.
Dr. Lettieri was pleased about my nerve cross graft he did in February; it is even better than he had expected. I plan to wait for eye surgery and have him do that simultaneously with the nerve surgery. I didn't mention that to him today; I will see him again soon.
Heather took out the rest of the stitches in my eye while Dr. Deep and Dr. Lettieri talked doctor talk-way over my head.
Today was good news about the nerve but surprising news about my eye. I could tell he was disappointed. I told him, "It's OK," and he said, "Not for me."  I assumed he was being hard on himself because he's a perfectionist. He said, "No, that has nothing to do with it. I just want you to have it working at the best it can, and I know it won't, so I want to fix it." He continued telling me I would have more drainage than I had before if I didn't take care of it.
Many people have questioned my choices; guess what? That's OK. I realize you are not living my life. You are not the one who has to kneel and ask what to do. I feel entirely comfortable with the decisions I have made. Many have given me natural path choices and questioned my choice to go medicinal; it's OK, too. Everyone has a different thought process; these choices were made by relying on the Lord to answer me and lead me to the right places. I only doubted a decision when I went to Cleveland Clinic. I felt rushed to make an answer, and Dr. Lettieri was out of the country when this all happened a year ago. We made a fast reactive choice, based on the fact we were told with a nerve we only had a small gateway--because I didn't know a "small" gateway didn't mean I needed it taken care of within a week or two. I could have waited for Dr. Lettieri. I don't look at things that way; my mind doesn't process them that way. If I hadn't gone to Cleveland Clinic, I would not appreciate and love Dr. Lettieri like I do; I wouldn't appreciate Mayo Clinic like I do. So, to those skeptics who like to give me their opinions, I will not apologize for following my heart, listening to the spirit, and doing what we thought was best at the time.

Surgery With Dr. Sal Lettieri

 

THURSDAY, JULY 2, 2015

Surgery with Dr. Sal Lettieri

Eric and I waiting to be called back--we are now frequent
flyers here at Mayo--I think I should have a punch card with some
a great reward after X number of surgeries. When the registration
the nurse knows you by name, and nurses remember you by name
It's a sign you've overstayed your welcome.

June 24, 4:45 am, on our way to Mayo Clinic. I talked Eric's ear off trying to keep from taking any anxiety medication--hey, who knew....it worked? While entering the Clinic, I refused to look to the left; I intentionally jabbered to Eric about positive experiences with Dr.Lettieri I wanted----NO, I needed to keep my head in a good place for at least a few more minutes while we registered.
Just over a year ago was a dreaded day. I'd been discharged from this same hospital with a disfigured face. Hearing a doctor tell me, "You need to get used to the new Monya; your face will never be the same" If I were to look to the left, I would have a vivid remembrance of being wheeled out in a wheelchair and while waiting for Eric to bring the car around I watched a woman fall to the ground have a massive heart attack. I listened as "code blue" echoed through the corridor. I watched as healthcare professionals did all they could to revive her life. They were unsuccessful, and I felt nothing but jealousy. I wouldn't necessarily say this was the lowest point of my life, but it ranked in the top 5.
I've seen and felt tragedy, separation anxiety, depression, heartache, enormous unexplainable pain, loss of hearing, sight, smell, breasts, and all my hair. I've had a temporary loss of feeling in my hands and feet. I still look back at all of this and know the positive outweighs the negative. I'd do it all again, feel every ache and pain to know what I know now. What I know to be true is there is life after this earth; it is beautiful and peaceful; there is no pain, hurt, or jealousy. It is like no other place you have been here on earth. I want to go there again; I will accept and take on all that happens to me here on earth to have that feeling for eternity.
After being registered, Eric and I headed up to the 2nd floor for surgery. When I got into the elevator
I couldn't help but look at that spot; it was empty, too early in the morning for visitors. The rush of reality came flashing back to that day a year ago. Eric asked if I was OK, and I responded, "Yeah, sure, I'm good." After checking in with surgery, they took me right back. Dr. Lettieri is on time. After vitals, question after question about allergies, and when was the last time I ate or drank anything, I started to dose off. My thought was, "Read my chart. Can't you see how many times I've answered these questions? This is not my 1st rodeo" I saw Dr. Magtibay walks by and into the patient's room across the hall; I suddenly sat up and wanted to talk to him. The nurse continued with her questions, but I kept asking her to ask Dr. Magtibay to come to see me when he was done...she was looking at me like really? I told her I would answer all her questions; you could start my IV quickly if she promised to get Dr. Magtibay. This time the IV only took a one-time poke; that's new. It usually takes several digs to obtain a different, more efficient RN to poke me.
Soon Eric returned, and just after that came Dr. Magtibay; I just love him. He hugged me and wanted to know about my surgery. I asked about his children and wife, then Dr. Lettieri came in. I didn't have to introduce them. They knew each other. Dr. Magtibay excused himself, turned, smiled, and wished me blessings on a great outcome.

ready to go, Dr. Lettieri took this picture so I could see
the difference in my smile

Dr. Lettieri smiled at me, and when I smiled back.....he said, "Do that again." Not knowing what the heck he was doing, I said, "Why?" he said, "Quit being difficult, just do that again, that thing you just did with your face" I shook my head and said with a big smile "This?" he smiled big, he said, "Where's Heather?" "I haven't seen her yet" Dr. Lettieri went out to find her, but she was walking in at the same time. "Do that again for Heather" I smiled as best I could. They both, in unison, said, "It's working" Dr. Lettieri asked me to do that same thing repeatedly. His surgery in February with the cross nerve was starting to show. By their responses, I could tell this was good news; he was happy. Heather has been with me since my 1st diagnosis with breast cancer, and we have become great friends. I can honestly say she has been faithful to the end. She watched as I suffered through chemo, radiation, expansions numerous surgeries she has assisted me with. She was there last year when I was rushed to the hospital in horrible pain, curled up in a fetal position, losing all control of my bodily functions. She stayed with my sisters and helped them to understand what was happening to me. I love her like a sister; I really, really love her. She was happy for me, genuinely happy for this bit of HOPE I was finally feeling.

Dr. Lettieri, Me, and Heather
I love them both.

After Dr. Lettieri gave his pre-op assessments on me, he walked out, and I yelled, "I love you" he answered, "I love you too" I was rolled into the OR and off to my Happy Place in Paris. I seriously don't remember a lot about recovery. I only remember saying I needed to go to the bathroom. In the past, I have not been able to have outpatient surgery because either the surgery required me to be observed for more than a few days or my bladder didn't work. After all, I was under anesthetic for so long. The recovery nurse helped me into the bathroom; when she went to shut the door, I said, "No, don't shut the door" "Honey, don't you want some privacy?" "Heck no, I want you to hear the stream of pee hit the toilet, and all those people in recovery are on drugs they won't remember,"  "She laughed. I immediately pee'd....it was long and loud, and I was proud--she said, "You didn't take any time at all" She helped me back to bed, and I slept for three days. Some funny things happened; that night, Eric woke up, and I wasn't in bed, so he went looking for me, 1st the bathroom, then he went downstairs, no Monya. He said he walked upstairs again to check the bedrooms, but I was asleep in the hall closet. He got a picture of it, but I'm not posting it. The following day I went to the bathroom; Eric said, "A man is coming to fix our cable in the bedroom" I told him OK, but I needed to lay in the bed if that was OK with him. The doorbell rang, and Eric brought the man into our room. I could hear him and Eric talking. I was throwing up on the ground with my head in the toilet. Eric came in and said, "Are you OK? The guy will be done soon"  I don't remember any answer; I just remember continuing to throw up. I fell asleep sitting on the floor in front of the toilet with my head on the seat. He got a laugh out of that one, and no, I'm not posting the pictures. I'm glad to be home but I never want to fall asleep on a toilet seat again.