Life Goes On

MONDAY, MAY 17, 2010

Life Goes On

I have been experiencing HOT FLASHES, seriously? It's so annoying; at first, I thought it was just because our house was warm and I needed to turn the air down, that's not it. I think I could be living in an Igloo or a snowstorm, and the flashes would still come. Doctor Northfelt said that the chemo sometimes throws women into menopause, or it kills your ovaries temporarily and makes your body think you are in menopause. Suddenly, a few months down the road, they start producing estrogen again. Chemo does some strange things to bodies; both of my big toes went black after I finished chemo, I talked to some other women, and they all said they experienced the same thing. Insomnia is another side effect of chemo and radiation; I have a hard time sleeping; well, actually, I have a hard time staying asleep. 

My mind wanders. The skin around the areas they radiated is so dry and red. Also, I am still experiencing fatigue and exhaustion. I'm not complaining; I really just want to journal everything happening so I will never forget. Speaking of forgetting, I was in my cycling class and realized that there is not a minute of the day that I don't think about the VILLAIN. I'm hoping that I never forget but that I will be able to function eventually without it consuming my every thought. It's a scary thing, probably one of the most terrifying health diagnoses women could get. Until my diagnosis, I never thought about the VILLAIN. I was more worried about Eric and his health. I always thought I needed to eat healthily and exercise, so I would be here for my kids. I never imagined the VILLAIN would be a part of my life. Now when I think about it, I think, why not me? One in 8 women will receive the same diagnosis that I did. Life goes on, every life is essential, and the experiences we have in life are what make us who we are.

LABELS: CANCER, CHEMO, DR. NORTHFELT, JOURNALING, MR. HOTFLASH