The Last Hair Appointment

 Today I went to get my hair done for the last time in a while. Kara Ellingson has been cutting my hair for over 10 years now, and I love her. We have become good friends; she has a wonderful husband and family.

I sat down in her chair like I always do, she put the hair drape on me, started to comb out my hair, and I began to cry. I don't want this to be the last time I get my hair done for a while. Not only do I look forward to visiting with Kara, but I also love to get my hair done. I just kept thinking, "why is this happening to me."

I was having this outer body thing going on, I tried so hard to get it under control, and I eventually did, but today I realized it is coming too fast; I can't stop it; I have no control. Even as I write, I am crying; I told Tamy today my hair is light and looks beautiful, but my heart is heavy. I am hurting inside and don't know how to control it. I miss my son, I miss working out every day, I miss laughing out loud, I miss being normal. 

This was definitely a day when I felt alone and needed the Lord to take it away. I came home and went to my room, knelt down, and asked the Lord to help me today. This is an arduous journey. I try so hard to be strong and rely on the Lord, I know he will comfort me and lift me when I need it, but sometimes, it just STINKS.