First Radiation Appointment

 

MONDAY, APRIL 5, 2010

1st Radiation Appointment

I entered Mayo Clinic today, wondering what was ahead of me. Waiting for my name to be called, I talked to a woman waiting on her husband who had his radiation treatment. Her daughter also had breast cancer 2 years ago; she spoke about how her hair grew back curly and beautiful. It's been so long since I have had hair, and I wonder how long it will take and what it will look like? 

As my mind wandered off, I heard my name over the loudspeaker... my stomach turned, and I got up to meet Chris. He will be with me in radiation today. After getting my gown on, I was taken to a vast room. A table connected to a massive machine is in the middle of the room. I now have 5 tattoos the size of freckles where they will radiate. My right arm is up above my head. It is painful; I have not had my arm above my head for that long time since before my mastectomy.
The technicians set up my body so that all the beams would radiate precisely where they were supposed to, and I was told not to move. When the lights went out, and the technicians left the room, I felt like I was in a Sci-Fi movie. The colossal round machine above my head moved and made noises, red and green beams penetrated my breasts. The technicians come in and out, rearranging the device and continuing to tell me not to move. The machine rotates entirely around my body, and the beams radiate each spot a few times. When it was all over, I had been in the same position for 40 minutes, and it was difficult to straighten out my arm and get off the table. My chest and face feel hot and now are red.
On my drive home, I contemplated all that I had gone through thus far in my life. My life has changed, that's for sure, and it will never be the same. I have been really studying and trying to learn more about hope. Not really wholly knowing what hope was until now, I think I have a better understanding of trusting that the Lord will fulfill his promises to me. You work through your trials with confidence, patience, and optimism when you have HOPE. HOPE helps me to overcome discouragement.