Lately, I've been feeling like I'm on autopilot, just doing the things that need to be done. I don't want to live that life anymore; it scares me. I want to move forward and be grateful for today; the hours and minutes are so precious; I hope I will always live them with dignity and respect for myself and others.
I have met some incredible people; most of them have contacted me through email. I'm always amazed when it happens because I write so much gibberish on this blog. I can't imagine that someone who doesn't know me would be interested in what I have to say. Heck, I can't imagine that anyone who does know me would either. These women are from other states and some even from other countries, all of us having one thing in typical the stinkin' breast VILLAIN. Recently I was contacted by a woman diagnosed just last week who is flying to Arizona to meet with my team of Doctors at the Mayo Clinic. Through my blog, three women I have met have flown to see my Mayo Clinic doctors. 3 of the woman I have met this past year have flown to Arizona to meet with my team of Doctors. I am grateful for these women in my life; one of them moved here from New Jersey and does not have any family or close friends.
When she was diagnosed, she searched doctors on google, and my blog came up. She is also using my same team of doctors. She will be undergoing a bi-lateral mastectomy on June 30th. I hope she falls in love with Dr. Kreymerman) like I did. Is it weird that I am looking forward to seeing him next month? My prayers and thoughts are with my new friend Jodi at this time. It's scary. The unknown can bring so much fear and anxiety to your life. People I have met this past year have helped me see life differently. I have never met; they don't know how they have touched my life with their faith and strength. A couple of them have passed away, and the VILLAIN took their life. I am still trying to process this and make sense of it. Life is strange how it changes so quickly; one day, you're upset with a child or your husband for something, and in just a moment, life changes, and those things now seem so silly or insignificant in the whole eternal scheme.
I started this blog saying I feel like I'm on autopilot; what I mean by that is I've let myself become immune to life. I'm getting back into my routines and forgetting what is essential. I learned to wake up every morning happy to be alive, glad that I have a wonderful husband who has a job and takes great care of me. I am so pleased about my children, sisters who I love and adore, and extended family and friends who respect and love me. Please, please help me never to forget; I often plead with the Lord to help me never to forget.
How many people have a friend who would dedicate themselves to helping you fight the BC battle by taking you to every single chemotherapy treatment? I do. Tamy Scheurn took me most of the time. I love her so much that I don't think I can express this woman's compassion for other people. I want to be like that; I want to give back to so many who helped me when I was sick, those who continue to leave things like flowers, chips/salsa, treats, and books on my doorstep. I don't know most of them because they have taught their children to serve without getting recognition (doorbell ditchers). I LOVE IT !!!! Simply said, I AM BLESSED.
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