What is Normal

 

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2011

What is Normal?

It's late; I'm tired but can't sleep another insomnia night. My appointment Thursday was canceled. I'm not sure if I should be happy or upset. Still, I was looking forward to hearing some results and him telling me how great I was doing. I miss seeing doctor Kreymerman. I thought about him when Eric and I went to see a movie with Adam Sandler as a plastics doctor. I just don't remember the name of it. In the past year and a half, there have been very few weeks that I have not spent at least one day at the Mayo. It has been 5 weeks now, yippie. Maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I have so much to look forward to in my life. Blake is coming home in 7 months. We will get his release date in April, so looking forward to April.
My hips, especially my right hip, constantly remain in pain. Last night as Eric lay in bed, I told him it felt like when I had chemo treatments this time last year. My legs were hurting so bad, he rubbed them, and it helped. What is NORMAL? If any of you know, please give me a clue because that is my goal right now, and it's hard to have a plan when I can't even remember what it is.
One thing I am grateful for today is that I finally have hair I can blow-dry and tuck behind my ear. That is cool. This time last year was shiny bald. Having hair, I can actually run my fingers through is way cool. People always ask me if I will let it grow out again, think I am... I love long hair on women, but boy, this short hair is easy to manage. I wish I could sometimes d put it up in a ponytail, and I want it to grow out a little more before Blake gets home.

I think life will finally get back to normality I can handle; I'm not sure what that is yet, but I will make it work for me. I love you all so much.