Monday, August 17, 2009

Marathon Dreams


Tonight I went to my cycling class that I have been going to every Monday night for a long time. I could hardly make it through; I felt so exhausted. Usually, I take two hours of cycling on Monday night and 1/2 hour of weights but tonight, I could hardly make it through the 1st class. I am sad to think that I will have to slow down and not be as active as I usually am; I believe cancer will slow me down. I have always been swamped, running, cycling, weights, kickboxing, and step. One of my goals in life is to run a marathon.  Will I ever be able to achieve that goal? I hope so, someday.  
Also, today, I allowed myself to cry a little bit; my mind began to wander off a little. I have always thought that Eric would be the one who would get sick or need my help, so I have always kept myself in pretty good health, eating right and exercising, knowing that I would need my strength to help him someday. Now, as I face this new trial of mine, I wonder if the Lord is trying to teach me to rely on others, especially my husband. Eric loves me so much and wants to be the "fixer" I love that he has taken over and been proactive in finding the best treatment for me.
Tomorrow we go to the Mayo Clinic, and I am a little nervous; Eric will be there with me; I told him tonight that the waiting is the hardest part, I am ready to get going and move forward to get this black cloud out of my body.
You have no idea what those mean to everyone who leaves me a comment or sends me a note on Facebook or an email. I have put them in a file to go back and read them; I love them; I actually treasure them. My friends and family will get me through this with some dignity. Thank you so much; please continue to let me know how you feel; I need to hear from you.

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