God Has a Plan For Me

 

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10, 2010

God has a Plan for Me

Today was a great day!! Usually, I am still feeling the chemo in my body on Sundays, and I am generally good to go to Sacrament only. We attend 3 hours of church on Sundays, for those who don't know. 1st is our Sacrament here. We partake of the bread and water and remember the covenants and promises we have made with our Heavenly Father; it is sacred and important to me, and it helps me get through the week. When I cannot attend Sacrament, men who hold the Priesthood will bring it into my home, and I can partake here. 2nd is our Sunday School.

We brake up into classes and learn about the gospel. 3rd hour is Relief Society for the women and Priesthood for the men. I usually have to go home after Sacrament to take my medicine, and then I am knocked out and cannot attend the other meetings. Today, I went to Sacrament, then went home and rested and was able to go back for Relief Society. While I was home, the spirit told me to go back and listen to the lesson in Relief Society. I am so glad I listened to the spirit. This was a lesson I needed to hear, Erica Garner was the instructor today, and her spirit spoke to me like the lesson was written for me.

I have been really feeling down. Lately, the depression has been hard to get over. One of the things I took away from the lesson was that this life is not going to be easy; if it were, we would not grow, our lives would have no purpose. We need to be able to look back on our lives and see growth. Without any adversity in our life, we would have no change. Just as we allow ourselves to have joy and happiness, we must also realize there will be days of sadness, depression, and disappointment. I know this, I have learned this, but sometimes, I forget when I am going through it. Today I was reminded, and I can see the growth in my life over the past 6 months; I wish I could say I am looking forward to the growth I will get in the next 6 months, but I am not that strong. I do not look forward to the rest of what I am facing.

I also realized during this lesson that we are all born of Heavenly Father, we are a part of him, and sometimes Satan wants us to think we are of "Man."Satan puts thoughts in our heads that we are not good enough or are defeated by our trials. In reality, Heavenly Father is refining us and purifying us. If we allow the trial to teach us, we will become more like HIM.
During this journey, I am grateful I have knowledge that the Lord is on my side, that he is watching over me, and that he is good to those who wait for Him and to the souls who seek Him.
Tomorrow morning I face the 5th round of chemo, I have a lot of anxiety knowing what I am facing this week, but I also know God has a plan for me.