Today was another day of chemo treatment, I was also able to see my Oncologist and get an update on my progress. My hemoglobin is down and that is not as good as they expected, if it continues to go down I will get a blood transfusion.
Everything else seems to be going as well as can be expected. Did I mention that I absolutely love Dr. Northfelt? I can see why he is an Oncologist, he is loving caring, and compassionate, when he left he gave me a hug and said " I Love You" with tears in my heart and eyes I say " I Love you too" it's amazing how your heart can be opened up to strangers and the Lord allows you to feel just a glimpse of the unconditional love he feels for each of us and for others especially those who are caring for you and have your best interest at heart.
Today I had the pleasure of having my husband take me to Mayo Clinic and stay through the chemo treatment. This was the 1st for him since he has work meetings on Monday mornings, today the meeting was canceled. Which was probably a tender mercy for us, because I told him I didn't want to go. I was having anxiety, knowing how sick I was last time. I cried a river saying I don't want to do this over and over to myself as I got ready. Eric was his happy self saying "you can do this" encouraging me to think positive and nothing was going to keep him from taking me (I think he was afraid I would ditch out) When we arrived at my chemo suite, I could see the empathy in Eric's eyes, not knowing what was going to happen next. When the nurse accessed my port, I thought Eric was going to faint. His face turned white and the nurse asked him to sit down and relax. He made it through the whole day with a few naps here and there. When we were on our way home he said to me "that's what you do every week?" I nodded and reminded him that he was the one this morning cheering me on. "Now you know why I dread chemo, it's not fun."
I finally felt good enough to go to our church meeting. It was good to take the bread and water (what is called our Sacrament) it is our way of renewing all the promises and covenants we have made with the Lord. Sometimes we take for granted the Sacrament, yesterday I listened closely to the prayer and closed my eyes to concentrate on the life of our Savior and all he sacrificed for us. A good friend of ours Rich Larsen, was sitting on the stand and our eyes met, he winked at me with a smile and a tear in his eye.
After church he came up to me and said "You look beautiful today" It meant a lot to me, I sat there with no hair feeling very vulnerable knowing many eyes were on me. All of these people care and are concerned for me. I think many of them don't know how to express their love. What matters to me is that I have many people who pray for me and love me, and I know they are sincere.
Tonight I thank Rich Larsen and his dear wife Teri who not only is going through their own trials and pain (they lost a granddaughter about a year and a half ago to a drowning accident)but they always find a way to show love and compassion to me in their own quiet ways. I love her tremendously for who she is and know she has a tender heart. She does not allow others to always see, I have had the pleasure of seeing it, and feeling it. Thank You
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