Patience

 

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2010

Patience

Today is 5 days post-op; I told Kayla I should be feeling better, "why do I feel so depressed and nauseated?" She said, "mom, you just had surgery on Thursday; give yourself a break."
Every time I eat something, I feel like throwing up. Every time I stand up, I feel like throwing up; when I rest and lie down, I'm depressed. So many memories of when I finished chemo and went through a terrible depression keep coming back to me, that was such a low time for me, and I don't want to go back there. I had this panic this morning. I did not want Eric to go to work. I asked him if he could take me for a ride tonight; I just needed to get out of this house for some fresh air.
I need to read my scriptures tonight and find some relief. It's a strange thing to feel so grateful to be alive, to be so thankful for Dr. Kreymerman and other doctors at Mayo who have literally made my journey bearable and at the same time be so sad.

I'm learning that patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry or frustrated.
It can do God's will and accept HIS timing. Patient people can hold up under pressure and face adversity calmly and with HOPE. You can see that I have a lot to work on with all that being said.

A quote that I will read today over and over is

"Life is full of difficulties, some minor and others of a more serious nature,
There seems to be an unending supply of challenges for one and all. Our
problem is that we often expect quick solutions to such challenges,
forgetting that frequently the heavenly virtue of patience is required."
-President Thomas S. Monson-