The Botton Line Is...Time Heals

 

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2010

The Bottom Line Is...Time Heals

A couple of days ago, Someone asked me, "when are you going to get over this cancer thing and move on...?" This individual went on to tell me that they were tired of looking at my blog and reading about the VILLAIN and the effects it has had on me... also that they have known other women who have gone through the same thing I have, and they are doing fine....blah blah blah...I instantly tuned out once I heard this person say that... I felt like they were acting like I had the flu or winter cold.
I am not sure how to react to this... sooooo this is what I did... I called Tamy and cried like a baby. After seriously thinking about this person's words and taking the advice of my dear eternal sister Tamy, I decided to answer a couple of those questions now since I was so dumbfounded at the time I didn't know how to respond.....
✔ When am I going to get over this? ........ probably never, and to be quite honest, I hope I never forget what I've learned and continue to learn. I am moving on; I have no choice ....my life goes on, however... this IS MY LIFE, and I think about it all the time. I will not apologize for that; it is what it is. I journaled when my brother died, and it was very healing for me; blogging just happens to be faster for me.  I love my blog. It's real, and it's part of my life right now. Family and close friends who want to get an update can look here instead of calling us. 
✔ So, it may not be the same situation when you know someone who has had BC and is living and thriving. What a wonderful thing to know you are cancer-free.

Most breast cancer victims are not given the luxury of being told they are cancer-free. I'm not cancer-free, so I blog for my family to have a history. Since their grandmother passed from breast cancer, I've been diagnosed.

I have learned that you can never compare your VILLAIN journey with someone else who has gone through it. Everyone's journey is different. Depending on the stage of BC, the experience could and probably will be completely different. Example: I know people who have had stand 4 cancer and have come out of it with no side effects and are living and thriving, and then I have also met women this past year who have died with stage 2 BC. I only know what my body tells me and what my doctors tell me. These things are REAL and cannot be denied. The reality in my life RIGHT NOW is that I will probably never run that marathon I have always dreamed of, I will live with pain for many years to come, but I am also very grateful to be alive.

The bottom line is time heals, I know it does, and I look forward to it. When I say, I don't want this VILLAIN to be a part of my life. I wish I could wake up and have it be a horrible nightmare; I wish I was the woman who didn't get every side effect possible. THIS IS MY LIFE, AND I AM HUMAN, I have feelings, and I record them. 

IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT IT, DON'T TUNE IN.

I will continue to rely on the Lord for my strength, and I also realize that NO-ONE else but HIM can understand the fear, the pain, or the anxiety I feel.